Do you know someone who is distant and only engages long enough to criticize?
People that are critical toward another person’s needs, wants or desires is a projection of how they feel about themselves. They often resent their own needs. They view themselves through a dark kaleidoscope of disdain. Therefore they also resent the needs of others and often express criticism about another’s needs, wants and desires.
Then there are people that are so narcissistic that they can only focus on their own needs. They never get past themselves to “see” another person’s needs, much less care about them. So they ignore others without feeling any obligation to tend to anyone outside of themselves.
Maybe they have a painful stick in their eye? Matthew 7 can help with that one:
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. (Matthew 7:1-5 NLT)
God wants you to take care of your own hurts so you can help others and have real joy in your life. You have to have the courage to identify “the stick in your eye” causing the pain and remove it. Then you can become truly happy with who you are on the inside. It is amazing how much brighter the people and the world around you will appear without that “stick” hurting you and clouding your perception. Same people. Same world. Just a pain-free happier you.
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. (Philippians 2:3-4 NLT)
Nicie Lee is a Christian Life Coach that can help all individuals with matters of the heart.