Freedom of Religion

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At the risk of intimidation, fear of hateful posts and threats of violence…. I’m going to go ahead and say it. I have a concern regarding same-sex marriage being promoted as a constitutional right.  My concern has nothing to do with my personal beliefs about same-sex marriage. I simply feel strongly that every American needs to understand the legal argument before the U.S. Supreme Court. 

Our founding forefathers courageously fought for our freedom of religion. The First Amendment to the United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law, that among other things, impedes the free exercise of religion. 

Whether you are for or against same-sex marriage, many Americans think, “Live and let live.”  But from a legal standpoint, the U.S. Supreme Court is not being asked to create a world where we live and let live without interference with each other. It’s actually quite the opposite. 

The Supreme Court is being asked to create a civil right for all Americans (me, you, and your neighbors too) to enter into a same-sex marriage if we choose to do so and to recognize that such a choice will forever be protected by the U.S. Constitution; and such a constitutional right shall not be violated. 

But you can’t stop there. You must think through the implications of such a constitutional right. All civil rights must be upheld and protected at ALL costs. In fact, to speak against such a right, is legally deemed hate speech. 

Wikipedia: “In law, hate speech is any speech, gesture or conduct, writing, or display which is forbidden because it may incite… prejudicial action against or by a PROTECTED individual or group, or because it disparages or intimidates a PROTECTED individual or group.”

Think about what makes up hate speech today. One example is the horrific hateful propaganda of a white supremisct or a distasteful joke about the disabled; disgusting and hateful thoughts and activities directed towards individuals or groups PROTECTED by the constitution. 

So here is the crux of my concern. If same-sex marriage is deemed a constitutional right, then ANY religion or written religious authority (like a bible), that promotes marriage between a man and a woman or that identifies same-sex marriage as a sin condemned by their God, will be deemed to promote hate speech. Religions, books and persons whose God deems marriage to be between a man and woman will be in the same bucket as a vocal white supremisct.

In fact, if you promote such ideals in your home with your children, you will be encouraging hateful sentiments contrary to a civil right. Telling your child that marriage should be between a man and a woman will be no different than teaching them to draw a swaticka and hate Jewish people. 

Or what about children adopted by same-sex married couples who experience confusion in their circumstances and want to express this as they age?  Such expressions will be discouraged and identified as hateful, therefore they will suppress their own personal experience out of fear for how they will be viewed. 

When a pastor, priest, elder, or bishop of any religion does not want to marry a same-sex couple because it violates his or her religious practice….  Or a religious baker doesn’t want to bake a cake for a same-sex couple…. He or she can be sued, penalized, and possibly even criminalized if they choose to honor their religious principles. 

And what will our public education system promote? Chapter 1: promotion of integration of African Americans and the courage of all those that contributed to steps of creating equality amongst the races (And let me reiterate, I greatly honor and respect those before me that made such strides).  Chapter 2: the creation of a civil right for same-sex couples and praise for those that forced churches and certain religious individuals to abandon their hateful beliefs about traditional marriage to embrace same-sex marriage. THINK about what this message teaches your children about you, your religion, and your God, if in deed your religion promotes a traditional marriage between a man and a woman. 

Let’s be very clear here. Creating a civil right to same-sex marriage directly rubs up against the free practice of some religions. 

Perhaps you believe anyone who is against same-sex marriage is hateful (not true, but that’s another writing for another day), but for others, it’s been engrained in their religion for 1000’s of years or perhaps since creation. You might say, “Well, then it’s time to make a change to some religions.” But what about the tantamount protection of the free practice of religion? What about creating a country that allows us to love one another and live next to one another without forcing our beliefs on one another? And can’t we like each other even if we don’t approve of some of the things other people do?

Don’t get me wrong, no one should incite violence or openly threaten anyone for living a lifestyle contrary to their religion (never, ever, should this happen). But one should not be forced to abandon a fundamental principle of their religion because of someone else’s marital desires. Let’s not “throw the baby out with the bath water.”

Every American (me, you, and your neighbors too) should be able to freely practice their religion without intimidation or fear or interference or penalty. 

At the end of the day, whether one supports same-sex marriage or whether one believes same-sex marriage is a sin under their religion, everyone needs to understand, the same-sex marriage request before the Supreme Court is NOT a “live and let live” request. This is about promoting same-sex marriage at the expense of suppressing the freedom of some people freely practicing their religion. 

If opening the door to same-sex marriage requires closing the door on freedom of religion regarding the sanctity of marriage, then the request as presented should be denied. 

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Do You Feel Loved?

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One of the most important questions you can ask your spouse or your child is, “Do you feel loved?” 

Feelings come and go.
Love is not a feeling.
Love is a decision.
Love is not given for good behavior.
Love is not withheld as punishment.
Love is given whether or not it is deserved.

You know you truly love someone when the act of loving that person is more important to you than how that person makes you feel.

Do you want to live a real love story? Select a mate that knows how to love you beyond their self. And pick someone you are willing to love for a lifetime, no matter what. And when you have children, share that same kind of unconditional and secure love with them.

If real love sounds hard, look at Jesus Christ. He loved us so much that he willingly gave his life and died for us – even for those that did not believe in him, that betrayed him, and that spit on him. He gave his life for the undeserved because he loved them even though they gave him nothing in return. Jesus’ love is perfect love.

Some people say they would die for their spouse or for their child, but yet they live every day selfishly for themselves. How do you compare?

Christian Life Coach
http://www.NicieLee.com

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Pick Your Battles

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Do you have a relationship in your life that is strained and driving you nuts? Maybe a spouse, child, co-worker or sibling is grating on your last nerve and just about everything they do is inconsiderate, wrong or incompetent. Do you find yourself being constantly critical of their words and actions? Do you watch them closely for the next screw-up?

One of the biggest mistakes we tend to make is making a big deal out of things that should remain small things. I guess it’s human nature to stand for what we think is “right” regardless of its significance (or insignificance) to the overall health and wellness of the relationship. In the wise words of Dr. Phil, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”

The solution: Be wise and selective about the issues you’re willing to fight for. If they are going to advance or protect the relationship, by all means, take a stand. On the other hand if you’re merely trying to protect your ego, follow the advice of Queen Elsa from Frozen and “Let it go!”

Everyone needs positive affirmations. So if it truly is someone you love or it is an important relationship in your life, be sure to dole out a positive and encouraging word for every criticism you dole out. No relationship can survive on constant criticism alone.

You reap what you sew in relationships. You can choose to speak affirmation and respect or you can be critical and constantly ready to pounce. But one will return a bountiful harvest of loving affections and the other will simply kill the crop.

Pick your battles!

Nicie Lee
Christian Life Coach
http://www.NicieLee.com

Resolutions

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RESOLUTION
There’s something about the start of a New Year that motivates people to resolve to change some part of their life.

Resolve: To DECIDE FIRMLY on a course of action.

Making a decision starts with the brain. We’ve all heard that writing specific resolutions and putting them somewhere visible will improve the likelihood of success. I tend to agree with that approach because it serves as a visible reminder to our brain that we resolved (decided firmly) to make an important change.

But once your brain firmly decides to make a change, the actual change itself has to occur in your heart. Think about it, it’s hard for us to deny whatever our heart desires whether it’s good or bad for us. Our brain tells us one thing (right, wrong, good, bad), but our heart…. Well our heart wants what our heart wants and it usually controls our ultimate behavior and actions. A change of heart (not just a decision in the brain) is where our life can transform into something new.

So somewhere along the way, we have to connect our brain’s decisions to the transformation of our heart’s desires. So how do we connect our mind and heart?

We start with our Spirit!

Spirit: The nonphysical part of a person that is the seat of emotions and character; the soul.

There’s several practical ways to ignite your spirit, but it almost always starts with a prayer. Pray to God to know your resolutions and to help you achieve transformation. With God for you, who or what can be against you? No one! Nothing! You can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens you.

So let’s recap:
1. Resolve (decide firmly) with your brain.
2. Write your specific resolution on a notecard or piece of paper and place it before you.
3. Announce to God your specific resolutions and pray for Him to: bless your resolutions, walk alongside you to help you achieve your resolutions, and to change your heart. (This ignites the Spirit!)
4. Place the written resolutions in a place where you can see it and read it daily (be intentional about reading it).
5. Repeat the prayer daily. This can be a quick prayer, but never cease in praying because it keeps God on your side.
6. Witness the transformation of your heart and the successful achievement of what you resolve to do in your life.

There’s so much more you can do to ignite your spirit to move in your life. But that would occupy the space of a book rather than a lengthy fb post!

Happy New Year! May you achieve all that you resolve to achieve in 2015.

Nicie Lee
Christian Life Coach
www.NicieLee.com

FREE 30-MIN CONSULTATIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR.

Praying to “SEE”?

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/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/d4b/60790396/files/2014/12/img_3701.jpgWe often pray for answers or a sign about what we should do in certain situations and then we stall for lack of certainty; stuck hopelessly in “what ifs” that may lead to bad outcomes. We cannot see the future with confidence, therefore we hesitate and doubt our decisions.

Faith is believing in Him before we can “SEE”.

Someone once described faith to me as standing between the two glass panels of life; one clear glass panel behind you and one opaque panel in front of you.

While we can clearly see behind us, the panel will not allow us to go back to where we were. Therefore, our Lord does not want us to spend fruitless energy looking backwards. We must learn from what we see behind us and we must leave it there and move forward.

He also does not want us frozen in our current situation because we fear what we can’t yet see in front of us. We do not know what lurks on the other side of the opaque panel. But we are not meant to see the future; only God knows the future.

Maybe we are praying for the wrong thing when we pray to “see”. Perhaps our prayer simply needs to be an invitation? He longs for us to invite Him into our situations. And then He wants us to trust Him and take steps forward in confident faith that He is with us at all times.

When you invite God into your situation, He will not forsake you. He will prosper you.

Faith:
Invite Him in.
Trust Him.
Confidently move forward.
Then see His good works.

Matthew 9:29
Thereupon, he touched their eyes, and said, Your faith shall not be disappointed.

Nicie Lee
Christian Life Coach
http://www.NicieLee.com
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If I put up with that…. Does that make me a doormat?

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IMG_2951.PNGIf anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. -Matthew 5:39 NIV

People that deliver insults expect an insult in return. It is unnatural to withhold an insult for an insult; it requires humility and an intentional decision to control your reactive anger. But doing so is a reflection of the indwelling of Jesus and sets you apart from the rest. In other words, if you can respond with love instead of hatred or anger, you might grab someone’s attention and have a chance to share the gospel; if not verbally, through your actions.

“Turn to them the other cheek” does not mean you must be a total pacifist under every circumstance; it only pertains to personal offenses, such as an offense to one’s dignity. For example, it does not mean that anyone should tolerate abuse, criminal offenses, acts of violence, nor acts of military aggression.

It takes courage and Christ-like love to turn the other cheek. Righteous peace (not victimization) is found in humility. And that type of peace is far better than being consumed by the toxicity of ego and vengeance. Turning the other cheek does not make you a doormat, it is the ultimate sign of strength and spiritual health.

http://www.NicieLee.com
Christian Life Coach

Toxic Mate?

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Are you in a marriage or a relationship where dangerous, destructive or abusive behavior has surpassed all love, respect or security?

Sometimes a person’s unrepentant toxic behavior becomes so destructive that you must love them from a far in order to protect your own physical or emotional wellbeing. You know deep within your heart whether you need to leave your mate to go where God can take you. But even if you choose to stay in the relationship, you can still take steps to preserve your relationship with God.  

Whether you stay or whether you go, you always possess the power to choose whom you will spend your days worshiping… Your mate or God? There can be painful consequences to shake things up and make meaningful changes in your life, but you must ask yourself, “Which path in life is worth living?”

It takes great courage to make changes to please God and push through the “getting harder before it gets better.” But be assured, seeking God’s purpose and desires for your life is a beautiful journey to a life of peace, enthusiasm and joy.

“For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death. He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight.” (Psalm 72:12-14 NIV)

http://www.NicieLee.com
Christian Life Coach
Free 30-min consultations.