Do You Feel Loved?

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One of the most important questions you can ask your spouse or your child is, “Do you feel loved?” 

Feelings come and go.
Love is not a feeling.
Love is a decision.
Love is not given for good behavior.
Love is not withheld as punishment.
Love is given whether or not it is deserved.

You know you truly love someone when the act of loving that person is more important to you than how that person makes you feel.

Do you want to live a real love story? Select a mate that knows how to love you beyond their self. And pick someone you are willing to love for a lifetime, no matter what. And when you have children, share that same kind of unconditional and secure love with them.

If real love sounds hard, look at Jesus Christ. He loved us so much that he willingly gave his life and died for us – even for those that did not believe in him, that betrayed him, and that spit on him. He gave his life for the undeserved because he loved them even though they gave him nothing in return. Jesus’ love is perfect love.

Some people say they would die for their spouse or for their child, but yet they live every day selfishly for themselves. How do you compare?

Christian Life Coach
http://www.NicieLee.com

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YOUR SILENCE IS LOUD AND CLEAR

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Why the silent treatment hurts.

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There are times in life when we have to exercise self-control and bind our lips so as not to say something that we can’t take back. “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.” (Proverbs 29:11) This type of silence is of good character.

Then there are some people that take silence to another level…. THE SILENT TREATMENT. When we are threatened in some way, we react with fight or flight. Silence may initially be a protective mechanism of flight. But the moment the threat is no longer present and the silence evolves into punishment of another, it becomes an active form of fight.

Silence pops up in many relationships in our lives; spouses, children, co-workers, friends, family, etc. Some people try to defend their silence by saying things like, “I’m not calling you names. I’m not raising my voice. I’m not hitting you. I’m not doing anything to you.” Let’s be clear…. The silent treatment is loud and it hurts or offends. The thing you can count on about the silent treatment is that it will never bring resolution or peace to a situation; it will only make a chasm wider or lengthen the duration of the pain.

In Matthew 22:36, when Jesus was asked which is the greatest commandment, he replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.” But he doesn’t stop there. Jesus goes on to give a second commandment, “And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” In order to comply with these commandments, we must first understand what it means to love.

Love is many things. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” So we know that love is about action; actions of patience, kindness, protection, trust, hope and rejoicing.

Ignoring someone is the opposite of love. It screams loud and clear to the other person, “You are not worthy of my attention or my breath. I refuse to hear you when you speak. I do not even care about you enough to acknowledge your existence. I dislike you or disrespect you so much that I cannot even look at you.”

There are many reasons why we resort to silence in our relationships with others. Anyone who delivers
silence and anyone who receives silence knows that silence can be a dysfunctional disruption to a relationship and it can cause painful deep wounds.

If silence is your “go to” coping mechanism or you are the recipient of chronic silent treatments, the pain that exists in that space is real. There are ways to break such a cycle and they are worth exploring. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

STOP THE SILENCE.
IT IS LOUD AND IT HURTS.

Nicie Lee is a Christian Life Coach that can help people with matters of the heart. http://www.NicieLee.com

Determining Someone’s Value

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HOW SHOULD YOU DETERMINE SOMEONE’s VALUE?

Do you have someone in your life that you value so much that you are willing to die for them?

Do you know someone that values you so much that they are willing to die for you?

How do you value yourself? Do you believe that you are worth dying for?

Thoughts of inferiority attack us all. No one, no matter how beautiful or successful, is immune from thoughts of inferiority.

Who should you allow to determine your value? Who really knows enough of you inside and out and who can really see you and your full potential?

A parent?
A spouse?
A sibling?
A coworker or friend?
A boyfriend or girlfriend?
A neighbor?
A boss or teacher?
The enemy?
Yourself?

Hardly! All these people, including you, are limited in their knowledge and understanding. Compared to God, they lack truth and understanding about what is within you.

So, how do you determine how valuable you are?

The best way to determine the value of something is to find out what someone is willing to pay for it.

What was the price God was willing to pay for you?

Death. His Son.

Do you value someone so much that you would give up your child for them? Is there a person in your life that values you so much that they would give up a child for you?

God, the all mighty creator, the only person that knows every hair on your head, the one that knows your every thought and that has seen your every action, all of your good and all of your bad, he knowingly paid the ultimate price for you: death. He gave up his only son in exchange for you. There is no greater price to pay.

God knows you are extremely valuable. Yes, this means YOU. There are no exceptions to his love for all of his creation. Don’t let the enemy rob this precious truth from you. Maybe you are not yet displaying your full potential, but God sees what you can eventually become and loves you for it today.

YOU are valuable enough to die for, so don’t ever let anyone else beneath God, including yourself, tell you any different.

ROMANS 8:32 NLT
32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?

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Season of Ho-hum?

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Are you yearning for glee? Do you long to return to a peak season in your past when you experienced feelings of contentment and joy? Most all of us feel this way at times.

When we do feel this way, we tend to look inward and evaluate what is causing the ho-hum feeling within us. But maybe our contentment and joy is really found outside of ourselves.

Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. -PHILIPPIANS 2:4 NLT

A selfish life filled with plans only to make a person happy in and of themselves may work short term, but it will fail to bring lasting joy and fulfillment. So it stands to reason that when we begin to help others, our own problems will shrink and the ho-hum blues will lift.

When our God-given time on earth comes to pass, what we have done to help others will be valued and celebrated on earth by the ones we leave behind and in heaven by the ones waiting on us.

So today, take a step to cure your ho-hums. It can be as simple as calling a family member, sending a random card to a friend, preparing a meal for a neighbor, looking at your spouse and saying “You are great and I love you” or inviting someone to coffee. Spend your time listening instead of talking. Try to think of any small thing that might brighten someone’s day. Lifting the burdens of others does not have to be a heroic feat, but even something “small” for someone else will help cure your blues.

Going Home

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Going Home

I am 40-yrs old.  I’ve been married 13-yrs to my feisty best friend and we have children, a dog and a cat.  We live in a beautiful home in Lubbock, TX.  It’s beautiful because it’s most often filled with love and laughter.  It’s where our family finds provision and security.  It’s where we intentionally create a safe place that is nothing like the often harsh outside world.  I love our home, but really, the structure itself makes no difference (although I love it too; it’s perfect for us), it’s the life in it that I love.

A week ago, we loaded up the car and drove to my Mom and Dad’s house in the DFW area (aka Meemie & Papi’s house).  What is it about “going home” that causes a small ember in our hearts to glow a little brighter? I suppose no matter the age, we long for the comfort of our own mother and father.  At least for me, I was fortunate enough to be raised in a home where both parents loved us and provided for us.  We lived a modest life, but dad worked hard and mom sacrificed so much personally to care for our home and family.  Things were not always perfect; plenty of hardships along the way.  But I never feared provision nor did I doubt their love for my brother and me.  Their world did not revolve around us kids, but they never lived their lives without us in mind. It was the four of us, and no matter the structure of the house (and there were many because we moved around quite a bit), there was love, laughter, provision and security.

Of course, my brother and I have since left our parents’ home to cleave to our own spouses and create our own homes.  But there’s just something special about “going home” to mom and dad’s house that ignites a childish fire inside of me.  It’s a sense of joy and peace and comfort.  It’s a place where I am unconditionally received by people that know everything about me and love me anyway.  And now we watch our own children run around and play under the security of us as parents but also under the cover of their grandparents.  Even our pets run in packs and play (well, except for my nervous Chihuahua; he shakes and barks).  “Going home” is a good thing and I cherish every precious moment of it.

Not every child is as fortunate as I was to have two loving and selfless parents and adequate provision throughout childhood.  Not every adult is as fortunate as I to have both parents living to play with their grandchildren.  But we all have a Father in heaven that loves us unconditionally, receives us no matter our past, provides for us more than adequately and is waiting for us one day to “go home”.  Yes, there is a small ember in my heart that shines through the giving of love, prayer, praise, worship, sometimes tears and just living life joyfully under the cover of our Father.  And if “going home” to Meemie & Papi’s house can ignite such a pure child-like fire within my heart, I can’t imagine the light that will ignite the day my Father in heaven calls me to go home.